Can not stand up because he was crippled by his wife

After the ceremony, the pastor asked the male sheep.

- Those of you who are often taken by your upperclassman wife stand up.

All men stood up, only one remained seated. The director approached him intimately, saying:

- God teaches you to love each other. Spouses have the same harmony and compromise. I am really praiseworthy. Unfortunately, there are very few people in my life. I was the first person I met.

The man was sad:

- Father, I don't dare to receive your father's compliments.

- What happen? My son - The pastor asked.

- Number of children who were crippled by their wives, could not stand up.

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Thoughtful

There is a husband and wife with an affair. One day, he deliberately returned home unexpectedly and found his wife dating a mistress.

Very angry with his wife, he challenged the fight with the other guy. When going out to the garden, both agreed with each other, pretending to miss, then lay to die. If the wife chooses who is the winner, the other will have to leave.

Both went to the garden, opened fire, rolled out and waited. The wife rushed to the toilet:

- Brother, come out here, those two idiots are dead.

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Clock is broken

A man came home at 3 am and was drunk.

He heard the cuckoo clock three times, then thought of a cuckoo nine more times so his wife thought it was midnight. He is very proud of himself.

The next day, the wife asked her husband what time he was last night, and he answered:

- Midnight, just as you promised.

The wife said:

- That's fine, but we need to replace another watch.

- Why is it, I still see it running well - The husband asked in surprise

- Last night when he cuckoo at midnight, he cuckoo for 3 hours and suddenly swore, cuckoo 4 more times, belch one, cuckoo 3 times then cough for a few hours, cuckoo 2 times last, then laugh encourage.

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Eat coconut shell

In the doctor's office tell the patient.

- She lacks tannin and serious fiber, needs to eat a lot of green fruits and must eat the whole skin without peeling.

- I would like to acknowledge your advice.

To make a re-appointment, the doctor asked:

- Does this way of eating fruit affect?

- No! Peaches, pears, apples, grapes . are all fine, only . the coconut is eaten a long time.

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Other pilot sword

Slowly rolling on the runway, the plane suddenly stopped and returned to the starting place. More than an hour later he took off.

A passenger asked the hostess what had happened.

- Nothing important! - The waitress answered.

- ..

- The pilot first refused to drive because he heard an unusual noise in the engine. It took us an hour to find another pilot.

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Not everyone pays money

A man riding a bicycle on the road, on a freight rack with two large bags. A bag was punctured, so coins kept falling from the road.

Suddenly a police car drove past him and signaled to stop:

- Where do you get so many coins? Stealing?

- Where is it! My house is near the stadium, close to a pub, there is a big tree growing right next to the wall. Fans after a match pulled each other out to the pub to drink beer and kept stumping the tree. I hid nearby, took a big scissors and demanded a penny for each.

The police laughed excitedly:

- Good idea! What about the other bag?

- Any guy will pay a fine .