Thanks to the cat for directions home

John hates the cat his wife raised. One day he decided to throw it away. John put him in the car and drove away more than 20 blocks from home, leaving it at a park.

When he got home, the cat was on his way to his house.

The next day John decided to drive further through 40 blocks and leave the cat again but just like the last time he drove into the garage, he saw the rushing cat entering the house. John tried to take the cat farther and farther away, but he always went home before him.

Finally John decided to drive to a far away place, turn right and turn left, cross the bridge then turn right and turn right and continue until he reached a place he thought was a safe distance and leave the cat there.

Hours later, John phoned his wife:

- Jen, is that cat there?

- He is home, he said - The wife answered - Why do you ask?

- Oh man, take the stethoscope to that monster cat. I need it to get home! - John cried out.

*
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When the wife is away

Her husband stood in the middle of the house, his eyes rolled back like Truong Phi's, his hands on his hips, his mouth roaring.

- She did not give up bullying habits, I chased home, right?

- Yes!

- From tonight I will often go drinking with friends, when I go home drunk, I can't grumble .

- Yes!

- I have to help me take off my shirt, rub oil and comfort me that I need to practice, to drink more for you than me.

- Yes!

- As for salary, I like to give as much as I can, but I don't have to smile gracefully.

- Yes!

- If you have a phone call without me at home, you have to answer gently, and gently announce it as soon as I get home.

- Yes!

- As for the housework, you have to .

- (Screams from the yard) What the hell are you doing at home to let clothes hang out like this? Was Sunday sprawled out?

Her husband panicked off the radio, removed the cassette tape to record his whole " Da " voice and then immediately put it under the chair, muttering: " Why are the lions coming so early? "

*
***

Important commands

No street lights. At night, the government officer stumbled over people, getting angry. Tomorrow morning, the official announced: " Who goes to the night to hold the lamp ".

That night, mandarin, again stumbled upon a person. Quan Quan:

- Don't you read the statement?

The other replied:

- I have read.

- Why don't you hold the lamp?

- Yes, I have lights.

- So why don't the candles be lit?

- Ban, in the report, I only saw the lamp and said, do not see the candle.

Quan covered in his heart very hasty, the next morning made a statement: " Who goes to the night to have a lamp, candles must be plugged in ."

That night, mandarin, again stumbled upon a person.

Quan rebuked:

- Why not have lights and candles in the night?

The other replied:

- Damn, I have enough lights, candles.

- Why don't you light candles?

- Because I did not say that I lit candles.

Quan came back to leave, the next morning, he issued a new statement: " Who goes to the night to have a lamp, candles and candles must be lit, candles must be lit ".

But one day, midnight, concerned, I stumbled upon a person with lights, candles, but the candles were lit. Quan rebuked. The other said:

- Damn, in the statement, I don't see this candle, I must have another candle!

- !!!!!!