Why do we lie?

Everyone lies, and usually lies. That certainly has a problem. So why? It was a way to protect the ego and try to be nice in my eyes and the eyes of others, experts declared.

" It's in our self-esteem ," said psychologist Robert Feldman of the University of Massachusetts, USA. " As long as people feel that their self-esteem is threatened, they will immediately lie at a high level ."

Not all lies are harmful. In fact, sometimes lying is the best way to protect your privacy, protect yourself and others from evil. Some deception hides under tactics and subtlety is considered not serious. But shameless lies (including hiding facts or forging facts) are harmful, because they corrode the truth and intimacy - the glue of society.

Trick yourself

Many animals also deceive, or deliberately deceive the enemy, but only humans are able to deceive themselves and others. Some people are so obsessed with how others see themselves so much that they cannot distinguish truth and illusion.

For example, in an experiment, Feldman put two strangers in the same room. These people are recorded while chatting. After that, each person reviewed the tape and pointed out what he said without being completely accurate.

Instead of defining what it is to lie and avoid touching the word "lie", Feldman only asks participants to find out what they say without "absolutely accurate".

Initially, they both thought that they were completely honest. But after reviewing the video, they suddenly noticed some things I said wrong. The lies revolve around their pretending to like the people they really don't like, or claiming to be the star of a certain group.

The study found that about 60% of people lied at least once in a 10-minute conversation and included 2.92 untrue things.

" People almost lie reflexively ," Feldman said. " They don't think that is part of their usual social interaction. But the truth is that ."

" We don't try too hard to impress others but still maintain a view of ourselves to match the way people want us to be, " Feldman said. We want to be approved, to make the social situation more smooth and easy, to avoid offending others through disagreements or friction.

Men lie no less than women, but they often lie to make themselves look better in others' eyes, while women lie to make others feel better. Those who look outward often lie more than introverts.

Self-esteem and threat to self are also motivations for people to be willing to lie to colleagues, rather than strangers, Jennifer Argo at the University of Alberta, USA, said. " We all want to be beautiful when there are other people's appearances (especially when people are interested) and we want to protect our values ," Argo said.

The experiment involves a scenario where a car buyer is more expensive than a colleague. When a colleague talks about the money he buys, the participant will choose how to respond. Argo found the subject would be willing to lie when the price difference was small and when they talked to colleagues rather than strangers.

Consumers lie to protect their image in public. She was also surprised to see people willing to lie to an acquaintance because of a small difference.

" I think people only look at the immediate advantage when deciding to deceive others to protect their values ​​and image at the moment, but then when the deceived person finds out the truth, there may be Long-term consequences ".

Feldman advises that people should recognize the limits of lies and the fact that honesty still creates more authentic relationships and trust.

MT