Conversations cannot help laughing

In the rooms of male law students, 12 students in the rehearsal trial, they set up a 'trial' to sue a driver who killed 24 piglets of a farm owner.

A 'lawyer' is appointed to defend the farm owner. Looking around at once, the ' young lawyer ' tried to make the ' locals ' in the judgment committee touched:
- Imagine, there are few, ladies and gentlemen, twenty-four pigs! Twenty four! Double the number you sit here!

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Too old

A man told his friend:
- After all, I saw you sold your old miserable car.
- Yes - The friend replied - I was fed up with the scene to explain to the police so I finished selling.
The other man wondered:
- What do you mean to explain the problem to the police?
- Every time I park my car, the police will ask if I have reported an accident .

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The reality is that

The young lieutenant who had just graduated from the military school was using alcohol to wipe the viewfinder with a specialized sniper rifle. Suddenly, the captain commanded to enter:
- What are you doing? How do you teach him how to clean the school?
- Use high alcoholic alcohol to soak up a thin rag and wipe slowly.
- Nonsense! Watch me manipulate this!
Saying that, the captain poured all the bottles of alcohol into the iron case, drank his neck and drank it . Lately, he breathed into the viewfinder and lectured:
- Done, wipe away, in fact the battlefield is so!

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Profit and loss

On the way home, the two sisters met the men who were drinking and screaming loudly. A sister immediately said:
- It is true that the wine comes in.
Ms. B retorted:
- Do not dare to say it out, only the owner will say it, then there are only holes.
Unexpectedly a companion at the back contributed:
- First of all, it is the capital hole, the hole has the stomach ulcer, the hole is falling .
Sister A and B cut the words:
- Then what?
Sister C:
- Down the hole!

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More money

Two boys are talking about you:
- Beauty of my sister. Anyone who looks at it is dumbfounded.
- But also boast. A word of my sister also made the masses into millionaires!
- What kind of job does she do?
- Read lottery results.
- !!!

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For both

- In newspaper X, you criticize them so hard. Why in the Y newspaper, did you praise them all?
- Ah! He did not understand that I was writing articles to serve both: the object in the article and the audience reading the article.
- !!!

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Aspiration

Summarizing the movement of " Non-smoking Week " in one ward, some individuals were praised and rewarded. On this occasion, a newspaper reporter interviewed an award-winning young man:
- Please tell me what you will do with this bonus?
- Yes . I try to pick up some more pedicabs, and then I buy them for my baby, a medicine cabinet to sell the alley.
-? !!!