Being yourself helps you feel less embarrassed

Shame is not fun emotion. Research shows that when we feel ashamed, we often undermine our entire people.

In contrast, research shows that when we feel guilty, we reduce the value of our particular behavior. We don't see ourselves as a terrible person like when we feel ashamed. Instead, we consider ourselves as good people who have done some bad deeds.

People also rated them feeling more painful when they felt ashamed compared to feeling sad, angry and disgusting.

Photo: karabess.wordpress.com

Research led by Professor Matthew Vess (Montana State University) said that you can greatly reduce the shame you feel in a simple way: be yourself. When you live a true life, and live up to your values, you are less likely to feel embarrassed. This is the opposite of living a life that you think and doing the things that you believe others want you to do, or live with the pressure to do certain things.

In one study, adults completed their assessments of shame and guilt after writing about or once they helped others, or hurt others. Thinking about hurting others increases shame. But this does not appear in people with a high score in the 'true life' section (for example, 'I am myself in most situations' ).

In another study, college students feel very miserable when failing on a mission, unless they previously wrote about 'who they really are.'

In both cases, live honestly, and feel like you are a real person with yourself , reducing feelings of embarrassment.

But we humans are never really 100% ourselves. There are always external factors that force us to act against us. Money forces us to spend time doing things we hate; Being polite to others forces us to listen when we don't want to listen.

But, this study shows that, by making more efforts to be ourselves, to live up to our core values, we may be less embarrassed.