Jokes collected on December 16, 2010

Send electricity to his wife

A farm owner brought cattle into the city to sell. He came to the post office, intending to send the telegram to his wife.

"The flock of cattle has been sold out. I'll be back tomorrow. Kiss me".

When he finished writing, he thought, "What does the word fluency do, and then she understands it." He crossed out the words "fluently".

He recited and muttered, "I brought cattle to sell, she already knew." So more bricks from the herd of cattle. The telegram left only: "Sold, I'll be back tomorrow. Kiss me".

Think again: "I did not buy cattle, but I recorded electricity." After finishing, finish the sold phrase. The telegram also said, "I'll be back tomorrow. Kiss me."

But still long. He thought about it. Have I ever burned money for a few days in a hotel. Of course she will understand that I will be back tomorrow. So just write: "I'll be back. Kiss me".

Feeling long again. I didn't follow her anywhere but didn't come back. He removed the sentence: "I will go".

Suddenly think. I hit the telegram "Kiss me" what do I do? Not a holiday, not a birthday, but the wedding day is over. No "Kiss me" anymore. So he tore the telegram right away.

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Turn off the light to count the money

The guests leave and leave, the couple is only married.

Drinking a glass of wine together, looking at each other passionately, the groom eagerly urged:

- Come on, let's go to work.

Shy bride:

- Hurry. It was early.

The groom is impatient:

- Soon, 10 o'clock.

The bride is shy:

- If anyone calls the door, it is troublesome

The groom became more impatient:

- Nobody disturbs us anymore. Come on, hurry up! I can't stand it.

Shy bride:

- Then you turn off the light. Very embarrassing.

Groom grooms out:

- Why must I turn off the light? How to turn off the lights . how can I count money?

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Unusual story

In the classroom, the teacher made a homework assignment: "Please tell me something unusual that happened recently at my house."

The next day, the teacher called Robert to stand up and read her assignment. Robert read:

- Last week my father fell into the well .

- God, what is your father's doing? - The teacher asked in awe.

- Miss, it must not be done at all, because from yesterday I noticed that my father was screaming down there.

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Big head but foolish

The couple is playing golf at an extremely expensive yard, surrounded by luxurious houses.

When playing to the third hole, her husband told his wife (a very beautiful woman):

- Honey, be careful, because if the ball misses a glass door, we have to pay a large amount of money.

The wife made a strong blow and of course the ball flew straight into the largest glass of the most luxurious house. The husband got angry, scolded his wife, and then they knocked on the door of the house. A voice answered:

- Come in!

The husband opened the door and saw a bottle in the corner, the bottles filled the living room. A gentleman dressed in an armchair asked:

- Are you the ones who broke the glass doors?

Husband and wife answered:

- Yes, but we are very sorry.

- Actually, you have freed me. I was a god imprisoned in this bottle for 1,000 years. So, to repay you, I would like to give three wishes. But since there are two people, I will give each one a wish, and the third one will be for me.

The man asked the husband:

- What do you wish for?

The husband answered:

- I want to receive $ 1 million every month.

- Okay, since tomorrow you will receive this money on the first days of the month.

The god turned to his wife and asked:

- What is your wish?

- I want a home in every country in the world.

- Okay. Since tomorrow she will receive the sovereignty of these houses.

The husband asked the god:

- What about your wish?

- We were locked in this bottle for over 1,000 years and during this time we were not close to women. Therefore, my wish is to be close to your wife!

The couple looked at each other for a while and finally the husband said:

- Okay, with $ 1 million per month and all the houses in the world, I think we can agree on this, what do you think?

The wife answered:

- I just have to agree!

The god brought his wife into the bedroom . Two hours later, the god asked his wife:

- Hey, how old is my husband?

- Yes, 40 years old, but why do you ask his age?

- It's unimaginable! This is the age where he still believes that there is a god!