Harvard experts share secrets to always win when debating

We have all experienced a sense of madness when we try to explain the obvious fact to a "cow-like" all day. When I reached the climax, I heard only the shout of both sides.

Obviously you know you are right, but what should you do to make that "stubborn" person believe that?

The best thing to do when you encounter that situation is to listen quietly.

In fact, the aggression is overwhelming all logical thoughts, all we want at the time is to try to convince them that we are right, they are wrong. But that only multiplies negative feelings.

According to Amy Cuddy, a psychologist at Harvard, the best thing to do when you encounter that situation is to listen silently , this method is called "presence."

When we know we are right, we feel like we are holding "power" in our hands. At that time, you were only "present" , meaning standing there and listening as best you could, you could also give some strength to others, making them feel respected.

Go on, please.

According to Cuddy: "When starting an argument, the first thing to do is to put enough attention and let the other person speak first. Not that you are giving them control, but you are really making them feel. found myself recognized and understood ".

By listening to the perspective of the opposite, you are giving them the opportunity to be part of the conversation.

If the other person is saying something against your opinion, Cuddy gives advice: "I think you should wait a bit. First , if you respond in the moment you are angry, you will not argue. Well, if you let them say everything, you'll have a better view of what's going on, then you can ask permission to stop and say, "I need to say this a little bit." "".

Tell me.

It is not all over yet. Once you understand the other person, you will gain a lot of experience to solve similar things in the future.

For example, if you fall into an argument about whoever clean the toilet, the wrong person will have to go to the task. But you can't just leave it.

You may have to review how to distribute the housework, or you can review yourself to see what you do that makes the other person feel disrespectful.

After solving the problem, don't forget a tight hug.

Be a little more sophisticated in everything, even with conflicts. Stop talking, "lock" your mouth a bit and try to understand the feelings of the other person, not trying to "crush" them.