How important is family hierarchy?

Heraclite once said: ' Nobody can bathe twice on a river ', every child is born and raised in every family situation. Therefore, there is always a difference between siblings in the same family.

I question many pediatricians that when parents encounter problems with birth order. And the answer is mostly when the second child learns to speak more slowly than the first child.

" A lot of parents have a mistake when they consider order of birth to decide everything, " says Peter A. Gorski, a professor of pediatrics at the University of South Florida, USA. He said that this could make them become prejudiced and evaluate their children through their brotherhood in the family.

In a family, not only parents but also children affect their children deeply.(Photo: Spychologytoday)

Frank J. Sulloway, Professor at the University of California, Berkeley; he is the author of the book: ' Born to rebellion: Birth order, family factors and creative lives ' (Patheon Publishing House in 1996), has shown that the second child tends to be speak slower than the first child. He said: ' The best way to help children develop is that parents have to spend time talking to children '.

He also published a study by the Norwegian Government in 2007. This study has shown that, in a family, the brother's IQ is usually 3 points higher than the younger one (study using numbers Norwegian military data, the research subjects are male.

However, he also said that the difference in IQ is only very small and not the cause of speech delay in children. The causes of delay may be due to congenital deafness or less talk and play by adults. His research also shows that, when the second child is born, parents often ' forget ' the importance of teaching children to speak.

Sister in a Western family (Photo: Gloriouschurch)

' The birth order is not the cause of the slow talk,' Professor Sulloway repeated. 'In essence, it is an important factor in the character of family members '.

We can cite many cases, in history, in literature, even in our families, when the second child is more intelligent and erudite (eg Jane and Elizabeth Bennet, Meg and Jo March, Dmitri and Ivan Karamazov .).

IQ often attracts many of our attention but in fact new personality is the most influential thing to the family as well as the members in it.

Usually, the eldest son tends to command his younger siblings. But what if it was a shy person? - Professor Sulloway said.Napoleon is the second child in the family and his brother is a very shy person. This became the factor that made Napoleon a strong man and replaced his brother's position . '

Of course, birth order is also important, but I feel that gender, birth spacing and, above all, personality are more important . When our youngest son grew up, unlike the beliefs of both sisters, he became quiet and showed little emotion. Both my wife and I thought, it was hard for him to lose his temper.

' I don't lower the importance of birth order, ' said Professor Gorski. ' It has created the position of every family member so that we can learn how to talk to people of different ages and how to behave in different relationships '.

Pediatricians always warn parents not to think that their children will be able to talk sooner or later that it is natural for their children to speak more slowly than the first. I was determined to strengthen the exercises to help children hear and speak better with the help of two daughters. And thanks to the hard work of the two sisters, his ability to hear and speak has improved significantly. This is fortunate to have hardworking sisters.