Science explains the fact that parents are more favored than their children

A study in the US showed that 74% of mothers and 70% of fathers admit treating children is not entirely fair. The children also identified him, she was the most prioritized. Scientists reasoned, probably because the first child received the biggest investment from his parents.

Scientists are surprised

Scientists at the University of California (USA) have just published a study that shows that most parents do not treat their children fairly. According to the children themselves, the first priority is the first child.

The research team interviewed adolescent siblings with age differences of no more than 3 years. The content of the question is the perception of how parents treat themselves, that children perceive that parents treat children differently, does it affect their confidence.

Parents who are not sensitive enough can unconsciously favor "children of a gambler".(Photo: Newkidscenter).

According to Professor (Professor) Katherine Conger - the leader of the research team, before starting work, they all thought that the first child would be the one who felt the most disadvantage. This is also consistent with the general view of society that youngest children are more concerned by their parents.

The results proved the opposite. In 384 families surveyed, often the first child is the one who really feels that parents appreciate what they can do."Our hypothesis was that the eldest child was affected by more bias due to being the older sibling in the house, the child was able to realize the different behavior of his parents and his children. , the research results surprised us, "said Professor Conger.

In 2009, authors David Lawson and Ruth Mace also published a study of over 14,000 families in Bristol (UK) showing that after every birth, the care and attention that parents give their children New born babies are significantly reduced. The previous child was even better fed, the result was usually 3cm higher than the children. They also have a higher intelligence index, possibly due to benefit from unconcerned interest during early life.

In 2014, an article in the Demographic magazine affirmed that the birth of the first and second child increased the parents' happiness quite clearly. But this effect is no longer significant when the third child is born.

Why is the eldest son biased?

Anthropologists and evolutionary psychologists argue that the bias for first-born children is based on Darwinian evolution. The eldest child will naturally receive a huge investment of time and energy from his parents. And once so much attention has been paid to "early children" , people tend to continue this trend as a form of "investment protection".

Professor Conger explained with a simpler argument: The elders, he was the first child to bring to his parents the joys of tests or athletic achievements. Therefore, they naturally get more affection. Gender is also an influential factor. For example, in the family of two daughters and the youngest son, the sisters may end up feeling "out of place". Therefore, parents need to be very sensitive to make sure their older children feel they are judged fairly.

In some families, children with reasonable parents can get more attention.

In some families, children with reasonable parents can get more attention. Sports enthusiasts may favor a child who likes to play hockey. In addition, some children have a very charming natural style that makes adults more interested. If parents are not sensitive enough to the situation - unconsciously, they will pay more attention to their "gambler" .

Regardless of the reason, according to consultant Christine Northam (USA), the long-term bias can be quite damaging to family relationships : "The remaining kids will quickly recognize the bias. Some children will act very seriously, they will think in a way that "I'm not good at hockey but will study well" and then progress very quickly in my career. The overwhelming feeling of resentment of a child who never feels well treated. "

According to Northam, psychological consequences can last for decades. In an instant, the child may have a feeling of resentment and become too attentive to himself in a defensive response against his parents' obvious bias. Gradually, children will form a feeling of inferiority and grow into people who lack confidence.

Whether admitted or not, bias is real and needs attention from parents . The advice here is to love the children fairly, ensuring the same impact from parents to children.

Skillfully, parents need to encourage their own concerns, even if they are different from their parents' preferences - experts say.