Children without emotion are more likely to fail

Many parents believe that with high IQ, their children will succeed in school and in the future. In fact, emotion (EQ) is also a very important factor in the development without it, the skills of children can be reduced.

Source: Dorsetforyou " There is a connection between the heart and the brain, its expression is emotional intelligence, ie EQ " - said psychologist Dr. Nguyen Cong Khanh, lecturer of Hanoi National University. . Emotion strongly influences human actions, thereby affecting its results. In fact, no human decision is purely rational, always having the role of emotion in it. For example, if you are "assigned" by a boss to something you don't want to do, it's easy to do it reluctantly and then don't worry about it anymore. I am very devoted to it, so the results are usually very good, and when you are done you feel satisfied.

High EQ is expressed in consistency, listening to others and understanding them, brave, flexible; and low EQ people often scold others, accept jealousy, domineering, doubtful, reproaching, obstructing others . Thanks to empathy, people with high EQ often easily integrate with people, know behave in a way that is accepted by the community and easier to succeed.

For children, EQ is more important in its development process. Lack of friends, living alone, difficult to integrate is one of the important causes of school failure. Many times, just because of their aggressiveness, or dislike sharing what they have with their friends, they are boycotted by their classmates, so that learning will also go away. In the future, low EQ children also find it difficult to create good relationships to develop their careers. Lack of emotion can also lead to worse things, such as a crime. Mass abuse or mass murder is evidence of emotionlessness.

According to Dr. Nguyen Cong Khanh, in England, there was a case of two 8-9-year-old children causing the death of a baby. These two children met the baby near a supermarket and arrested a secluded place to torment, then tied to the rails for trains to pass. Later, investigators found the perpetrators living in an orphanage. They are still used to catching animals on "playing", twisting their legs, breaking their arms and enjoying the animal's painful cries. Psychologists explain, because they cannot live in an emotional environment, so these children are not able to understand the feelings of others. Witnessing the pain of writhing, while other children were terrified, they were happy and excited.

This non-empathy situation is also encountered in many unfortunate children such as orphans, broken families, abandoned . Due to their insensitivity to other people's feelings, children can make them suffer. no regret or guilt. Therefore, the risk of crime will be high.

How to increase the EQ index?

Parents need to listen to their children to understand what they are feeling, and share with them. For example, children are sad because you spend a lot of time with him, tell him: "I also know the feeling when I get to hang out with my parents in the park and I don't ". As such, children just feel shared and understand that everyone experiences this emotion and has overcome.

Help children call their emotions, build their emotional vocabulary such as sadness, happiness, anger, fear . Can show children many pictures that describe different emotional states and prizes prefer. If your child is frustrated with losing a toy, don't tell him "it's okay, don't cry" but take this opportunity to teach your child about emotional concepts. May ask: ' You are sad, right? ", and elicited:" You lost the toy the other day, you are sad like that? ". Ask him if he likes the toy, why, so your child will reveal, describe its feelings in more ways.

On the other hand, should let children observe the feelings of people around them, such as " Yesterday my grandmother was very happy, she laughed a lot. Why is she happy? Because she knows how to give her toys ." or: " Miss Ba is angry, she frowns and doesn't hold her mouth anymore. Why are you angry? Because little girl breaks her flowerpot without apologizing. You're angry, Are you sad? " Thus, children not only recognize the feelings of others but also understand the origin of those emotions, as well as the impact of that emotion on everyone. From there, children will know how to adjust their emotions and behaviors - an essential ability to succeed in life.

Dr. Khanh advised that, for children under 6 years of age, punishment should be minimized (but must show errors) and generous, even without a limit of compliments, as long as the compliment is reasonable. For young children, do not abuse the teaching because the child's perception is derived from specific behaviors, then gradually learn the rules of what should not. For example, every time a child screams due to dissatisfaction, people can agree to pretend to hold their head and cry: "Too much headache" and anyone who leaves the room, does not care about the child. After such a number of times, children will understand that the behavior does not bring any "benefits" and end. Or maybe sneaking a movie on this scene and when the child is calm, replay it to the whole family. Children will know this behavior is not right, it is embarrassing and will adjust itself gradually. When a child is on a "spike", all the scolding will not be effective.

" Not the teaching, but the experience itself will have an effect on the emotional intelligence of children, " Dr. Khanh said. A father had tried to advise his son not to approach the motorcycle exhaust pipe, but every time he went home from work, his 3-year-old son would return to his father's side, with a motorcycle exhaust pipe. He thought of a way, taking the plastic doll and doing it like he accidentally put his foot into the car exhaust. The foot of the doll had a streak, it was shown to the boy along with his father's note: " The doll was touched by the catheter, so the legs burned, the skin was torn. It was very painful ". The boy was very scared because he understood what intuition meant, from which he avoided it.

Also with doll games, parents can teach children more things about emotions. Depending on the specific situation, parents will know how to tell them. It is important to teach children about emotional intelligence, parents cannot be "emotionless". You must let your child bathe in the emotional environment, you must spend time with your child.

Thanh Nhan