Why is there an 'old love that doesn't come'?
Why do people have a habit of coming back to their ex-friends even though they have hurt themselves? The answer is not simple, there are many reasons leading to that "painful decision".
Sometimes we decide to give our ex a second chance, hoping everything will be different this time. Perhaps because we feel lonely, we deliberately ignore negative emotions, or simply people often become blind and irrational in love.
Shelby Sells is a psychologist, an expert in relationship studies. On Bright Side, she pointed out that there are many reasons why we decided to go back to the old people.Most of these decisions are influenced by human subconsciousness.
Returning to the old person is easy and makes us feel familiar
Did what become familiar, it would be easier to find?
Having said that, getting back to the old ones is the easiest . thing. Because, they understand your habits or even your mistakes, know what your favorite food or drink is. Moreover, is it that things that become familiar are usually easier to find?
Sells expert said: "We are often used to the pain that person causes us. Therefore, there is not much shock or scary waiting for us ahead. We accept ourselves being hurt because I'm used to it. "
People cannot stand loneliness
Breaking up a person is not easy. Suddenly, you lose someone who is always with you and share your sweetness. And then you realize you're left alone. You will wonder why you broke up, remembered all the happy memories you had, denied the bad things, and forgot why you broke up.
Shelby also added that people are often afraid of the prospect of being alone or starting a new relationship . So they think it is better to go back to the person who hurt you than to be alone.
You are experiencing a "storm" of worst emotions
The farewell always makes people miserable and brings a tragic atmosphere. Those repercussions often stay for a long time until we forget our ex. Or worse, when we decide to end that suffering by returning to that person if they accept it.
Sells experts said that when people have a time and space away from the old people, they will start to remember beautiful memories and reject bad memories. According to her, subconsciously, we often invariably erase negative memories to protect ourselves from repeating heart wounds.
We hope they will change
We often give older people opportunities and believe that they will change bad behaviors.
The saying "when you love people is often blind" is not wrong. Sometimes we forget our values and have the false hope that the person will change for a better future.
We often give older people opportunities and believe that they will change bad behaviors. Although deep down we understand that it is very unlikely, but now emotions will often win over reason. In fact, it is often difficult for people to change their nature.
Have you ever been in a malicious relationship? Do you think the person who hurt you deserves a second chance and they can change for you?
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