Parents lie to influence their children's behavior and emotions

New research by the University of Toronto and the University of California in San Diego shows that parents say honesty is the best behavior but they often lie to children to influence their behavior and emotions. .

Surprisingly, there have been no studies on parents lying so far. So, Gail Heyman, a psychologist from the University of California in San Diego, joined Diem Luu, a former student of the school, and Kang Lee, a lecturer at the University of Toronto, director of the Children's Research Institute at OISE. , conduct research on this new phenomenon. They asked American volunteers in the two surveys that relate to the statements surrounding lying to their children - possibly for the purpose of directing children to the right behavior, or simply making them happy.

In one of the two surveys, many parents said they told their children that bad things would happen if they refused to go to bed or eat all the prescribed food. For example, a mother told her that she told her child that if she did not consume all of her meals, she would have acne on her face. Some other parents reported that they had 'composed' the bizarre creatures. One of them explained: 'We told our daughter that if she does not pack the nipples that she often plays in gift boxes, an fairy will take them and give them to the children who need them. nipples . I think my child should give up the fake nipples he used to suck, so it's better for health. '

In another survey, researchers recorded recollections of college students about the times their parents lied and also obtained similar results: parents often lie to their children, even if they always affirming that lying is unacceptable.

Parents say honesty is the best way to behave but they often lie to children to influence their behavior and emotions. ( Photo: BabyTalk)

Researchers call this fact 'teaching by lying'. Researcher Lee said: 'We are surprised by the frequency with which parents apply this way. Moreover, the results show that even parents who regularly emphasize their children on the importance of honesty also implement this teaching method. '

Heyman agrees that it's sometimes unreasonable to be too honest with a child: 'Tell a two-year-old that you don't like its painting, it's cruel.' However, she convinced parents to carefully consider the situation and consider alternatives before deciding to use a harmless lie.

'Children sometimes have unpleasant actions or may harm themselves,' Heyman explains. 'Parents often use small trick tips to solve the immediate problem. In doing so, they can temporarily forget about the long-term negative consequences of possible consequences for their beliefs in honesty. '

The study also investigated the phenomenon of 'teaching by lying' in Asian-American and European-American parents. Asians tend to use this method to influence children more. According to researchers, a possible explanation is that compared to European parents, Asian parents seem to appreciate the importance of teaching children to respect and listen more, and they use Different ways to achieve this.

The research was funded by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. Detailed results are published in the latest issue of the Journal of Moral Education.

Heyman and Lee are currently preparing for a more profound international survey on this issue, and they are also beginning to explore the possible consequences of 'teaching by lying': Is it Is it confusing right and wrong? Does it reduce children's confidence?